When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
