So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize