so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
