I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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