I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
