Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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