Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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