i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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