You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
