So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
