The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just want to make out with him forever
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
