I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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