Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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