i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
it glows. i had to have it.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
