im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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