I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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