Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
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I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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