OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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