I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
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he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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