We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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