Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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