yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
FUCK WHALES
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
