Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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