you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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