I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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