from now on my penis is your penis
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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