So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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