you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
