You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
