Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
