Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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