I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
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he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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