We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
