Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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