I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize