exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
