i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
even my farts smell like vagina
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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