Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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