Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
