can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
