She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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