We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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