I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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