I accidentally had phone sex last night
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
