Say something about gay babies.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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