I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize