We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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