I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
