that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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