if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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