Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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