i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
