When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
