If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
