You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
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