At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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